"I can't" doesn't mean "I don't"

Need a lot of courage to write this one.
For the first time, I'll try to write this post with English.
In recent week, some of my friends always said this to me.
"Will you go to Bali?",
and I always said "Sorry I dunno", or "Sorry I can't".
When they said "Why?", I only could say "Because I've to choose one from two options."
The first one is I'll spend my money for a DSLR, and the second one for a 5 days holiday in Bali with my friends.

It's a difficult option to choose one of them, because I want it all!
Eventhough go to Bali will be more interesting, I still prefer to buy a DSLR.
I don't mean to put DSLR into my first priority. If I don't buy it as soon as I can, I dunno when will I have a chance to buy that. I know this is the last chance for us to go together, but every people have their own choice, have their own dream.
I believe that Lady Luck won't come for the second time.

If anyone ask me the reason why I can't go with you guys, okay I'll open my trump card.
My pa suffer a stroke for a years and a month. He has suffer it from 14 Dec 08.
So the income on my family isn't smooth as usual and I don't wanna be his expense just for a 5 days holiday. I don't know how's the condition of our family later. It can be better or worse.

"Relax, we will try to find funds for you. But we can only give you a million."
The problem is if I go to Bali with some of their funds, I have to use my "red pocket".
So it's same that I don't get DSLR.

I just don't wanna be a "Miscellaneous expenses" for you. Better if you use it for yourself, for your fund to holiday.
Thx for all of my friends who offer me help to go for our holiday.
"Do you want to go to Bali?"
"Yes, but I can't. Doesn't mean I don't want it."

PS: Sorry for the wrong grammar lol!